Why packing can feel overwhelming when you’re neurodivergent (It’s not laziness)

Sarah Pearson
Apr 14
3 min read

For most people going on holiday is filled with excitement and anticipation, and packing the suitcase is a simple, minor task that needs to be done.

For many people with ADHD or who are neurodivergent this task becomes much bigger than a minor task and can feel overwhelming, paralysing and stressful. This isn’t down to laziness or poor organisation but the demand that packing puts on executive functioning.

Why can packing feel so difficult?

Although packing a case seems like a simple task, it is often linked to executive functioning skills such as:

Forward planning: Thinking about what you’ll need over various days, the weather and what activities you might be doing
Decision making: Deciding what you want to wear and when
Organisation: How to pack the case - what to put in first and how to organise it
Time management: When to start packing - when is too early or too late
Working memory: What have you already packed

For many with ADHD these processes demand a lot more effort and energy and this can lead to overwhelm and stress.

The overwhelm cycle

Many people with ADHD may experience a pattern like this:

Plan to start packing with plenty of time
Become overwhelmed by the number of decisions involved and the pressure of a big task
Struggle to make decisions and not know where to start
Pack under pressure at the last minute
Feel frustrated or self critical that the task caused stress and overwhelm

A Neuro-affirming approach

From a neuro affirming approach instead of putting pressure on yourself and trying to push through a task that you feel you should be able to do, you could ask yourself:

“ What does my brain need in this situation?”

This opens up a more supportive and realistic approach to the task.

Practical strategies that can help - (for everyday tasks)

Body doubling: Asking a friend or family member to sit with you while you pack can help you stay focused and supported. They can also help with decision making if you get stuck.

Writing a list: Instead of holding everything in your head you could write it down. This can reduce the mental load on your working memory and make the task feel more manageable.

Breaking the task down into smaller steps: Instead of thinking 'I need to pack my suitcase', you could try breaking it down into smaller steps, like:

Choose clothes
Pack toiletries
Pack chargers
Check documents

Small steps can make it easier to get started.

Create a comfortable environment: You could put on your favourite music or a podcast, have snacks near you, to create a space that feels calm and supportive.

Reduce decision making: You could try planning what you’d like to wear in advance. Fewer decisions can reduce stress and overwhelm.

You’re not lazy or disorganised

If you feel overwhelmed by packing or everyday tasks it isn't because you are lazy, it’s because your brain is being asked to process multiple complex tasks that rely on executive functioning.

This can leave people with ADHD feeling that they have failed in some way as others seem to be able to complete these tasks with ease.

By approaching these challenges in a neuro-affirming way you can build the support and structure that make tasks feel more manageable and less stressful. This can help to build more self-acceptance, understanding and reduce self-criticism and blame.