When Everything Finally Makes Sense: The Emotional Journey of a Late Autism or ADHD Diagnosis
- Sarah Pearson
- Mar 13
- 3 min read
Wondering, Researching, Doubting
The chances are if you're reading this article and you’ve just been diagnosed as neurodivergent, it’s been a long road to get here. More often than not it can take years of waiting, wondering and many, many forms to finally receive a diagnosis of ADHD or Autism.
The journey doesn’t start at the assessment though. Often there has been a long period of wondering before someone decides it may be worth seeking a diagnosis. Doing your own research, reflecting on your past and noticing things in your life that you thought everyone struggled with, and then realising they don't.
Everyone's journey is different, some may have seen something on social media that made them think “that sounds like me”, some may have struggled since becoming a parent, and life started to feel unbearably chaotic, some may have struggled to maintain a relationship. Or maybe a loved one was diagnosed as ADHD or Autistic and you became curious about your own possible neurodivergence.
Courage, Uncertainty, Taking a leap into the unknown
Taking that step to go to the GP or for a private diagnosis can feel empowering but also terrifying. Questions of “Will I be believed?” or “Am I sure this is actually something that is worth pursuing?” Perhaps you had questions like “What if I’m told I’m not Autistic, then what?”
Overcoming this uncertainty and taking a leap into the unknown can feel scary. It can also be confusing trying to work out whether a diagnosis is something that you want or need.
Relief, Validation, Things finally making sense
When you receive a diagnosis you may have a sense of deep relief. You may have been holding your breath waiting for the answer and when you hear those words that you are neurodivergent you can breathe again. You have been heard, understood and validated. Everything may feel like it finally makes sense.
Anger, Sadness and Grief
Once the feelings of relief have subsided you may begin reflecting on the past and this can evoke different emotions. Anger, disappointment, confusion or sadness that you’ve found out so late, questions of “What would life have looked like if I’d known?” or “Would life have been easier if people understood that this is how my brain works, or if I had been given the right support?”
You may also be questioning who you are, if you have been masking for years, trying to fit in, keeping up with societal expectations, it may leave you feeling unsure of who you are, your identity.
Acceptance, Connection, Advocacy
Once the diagnosis has sunk in and settled you may start to look forward to what this means for you. What accommodations do you want or need, if any? You may start connecting with others who are neurodivergent, and start to feel like you're finding a place where you belong and are accepted for your authentic self.
For many people, a diagnosis is not the end of the journey but the beginning of understanding themselves in a new way. There may still be mixed emotions along the way, and that’s completely valid.
Over time, many people find that with greater understanding of neurodivergence comes more self-compassion and kindness towards themselves.
With time you may begin to start to accept yourself for who you are, worthy, lovable and capable and begin to build a life that works with your brain rather than against it.
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