My Approach to Neuro-Affirming Counselling

When looking for a counsellor, it can be difficult to know where to start. You scroll through the directories, look through websites and read articles, trying to find someone who you can trust, and but still find yourself going round in circles.

You may have had previous experiences of therapy where you felt misunderstood, judged, or like you just didn’t click with the therapist.

The term neuro-affirming is starting to become more widely known, but it can be difficult to know exactly what this looks or feels like when you are in a session with your counsellor.

In this article, I’m going to share what neuro-affirming counselling might look like in my practice.

How I view neurodivergence

I don’t see Autism, ADHD or AuDHD as something that needs to be fixed or changed. I support clients in exploring how their neurodivergence may impact their experiences, emotions and relationships, whilst understanding that they are the experts of their own lives and experiences.

I recognise that your experiences may sometimes be shaped by navigating environments and expectations that don't consider your needs. I aim to create a space where you can talk about what you're struggling with without feeling that you need to change who you are to fit in.

I listen to your unique experiences

I will listen to your experiences as an individual and not as someone who fits inside a box of what a particular diagnosis is thought to look like. I understand that each person experiences life in a different way and may process emotions differently, whether they are neurodivergent or not.

Although individuals may have the same diagnosis, it does not mean that their experiences, needs or strengths will be exactly the same, and I aim to understand how your experiences impact you.

This helps us to work together and find strategies to support you, rather than strategies that work against you.

I adapt my way of working to you

I work flexibly around communication. This may mean giving you more time to process a question, repeating something, giving you time to make notes during a session, or explaining something in a different way.

I will always be led by you in terms of what you would like to bring to sessions, but I can support you if there is something specific you would like to work on. If it would be helpful, I can also support you in staying on track with a particular topic, whilst still allowing space for things to come up naturally during a session.

When we first start working together, you may not know what works best for you, and that's OK. We can explore different communication styles together and try out different things to find something that works best for you.

I consider your emotional and sensory needs

I welcome movement in sessions, fidget tools, or anything else that helps you to feel comfortable. I understand that you may need to move around in your chair, turn your camera off, or not give eye contact if this feels difficult for you. We can talk about what helps you to feel most comfortable and able to engage in sessions.

Your sensory and emotional needs may change during a session or from session to session, depending on your energy levels or how you're feeling that day. This might mean I check in with you to see how the session feels, asking if you need time to process what we’ve been talking about, or asking if something feels too intense and whether we might need to step away from it for a little while.

This wouldn’t necessarily be seen as avoidance or resistance to talking about something, but more about meeting you where you’re at and recognising that sometimes slowing down or taking a break supports emotional regulation and helps you to feel safe enough to explore something that feels difficult.

If counselling hasn’t felt right before

If you have had experiences of counselling in the past where you have felt misunderstood, judged, or like therapy just didn’t work, you may wonder whether neuro-affirming counselling will feel any different.

I hope this article has given you a good idea of what neuro-affirming counselling might look like in practice.

You don’t have to have all the answers, a diagnosis, or even know where to start. A neuro-affirming space is about being able to be yourself, with acceptance and understanding, and not feeling that you need to change who you are.